Be Not Afraid

From October 17, 2010

Today we sang "Be Not Afraid" in Mass. I think that this might just be my favorite hymn. It is very apropos to sing a hymn about wandering in the desert and relying on God when we are facing the fact that people wander through the desert into this country and we will be wandering in the desert of Tuesday. I feel that I will not get through this week, especially Tuesday, without Him. The one part that is resonating with me right now is "And if wicked tongues insult and hate you all because of me, blessed, blessed are you." Being hated does not seem like a blessing. But the Bible, especially the Gospels, are full of seeming contradictions. I think right now I am wrestling with these seeming contradictions and I am trying to understand them. Why would God call us onto a path that will not be east. Why is salvation hard and what is right always the wrong thing in the eyes of society? Why do we treat others like dirt and sub-humans in the name of freedom and justice?

Fall Break Experience

This is the beginning of a back log of entries from my Fall Break Immersion trip in Tucson, AZ. Here is a little about what we did first:

We spent Oct 16-Oct 20 in Tucson. We went there and stayed at Most Holy Trinity Parish. The pastor there, Fr. Bill, and the social justice coordinator, Leo, helped us see the many side of the immigration issue in America. Saturday we saw a play called "No Roosters In Arizona." It is based on the true story of four women who wandered the Arizona desert trying to find a home in America. Sunday we went to a Mariachi Mass (very fun!) and then to a forum about Scripture and Immigration. Fr. Bill gave a talk about what the Bible says about hospitality and Leo gave a talk about the history of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) and their recent statement, in conjunction with the Mexican Bishops, about immigration reform. Monday we drove down to Nogalas, AZ (right on the Border) and toured the Border Patrol Station and let them tell us about what they do. Then we went to downtown Tucson and set in on Operation Streamline, the governments way to streamline the plea hearings of people who entered the country illegally. Most pleas guilty and are sentenced in less that 3 minutes. We were there for an hour and fifteen minutes and about 70 people had their hearings and were sentenced.  Tuesday we went out with a group of Samaritans. The Samaritans is a group completely funded by volunteers and donations. Their goal is to go out into the desert, to leave water for those traveling through the desert, and to offer emergency first aid to those who are dying. They first took us to Sasabe, AZ where we drove to the wall that has been put up on the Mexican/American border. Then we drove and saw some wells that are on a federal wildlife reserve. They have put taps on them so people can refill their water jugs. Then we walked a migrant trail with them, checking to see if any water had been taken from a drop earlier that week (to see if the trail is being used) and we picked up litter (bottles, food tins, clothes, backpacks, etc.) on the trial. It was a very trying, testing, educational trip. I learned a lot, learned I knew so little, realized that I am blessed more than I ever knew, and tried my faith a little. But I know I came out of this experience stronger than I was before.

I will put up more journal entries later. :-)

Quick Thought

I wrote a couple of weeks age about my struggle with the passage from Job made famous by the praise and worship song "Blessed Be the Name." Then on October 24, 2010, the Psalm response for Mass was

The Lord hears the cry of the poor, blessed be the Lord.

I have been struggling with this. With what I have just experienced (in my immersion trip, by visiting with my Hospice companion every week, etc.) it is easy to think that the Lord does not hear the cry of the poor.  But, maybe the Lord does hear the cry of the poor. Maye He calls people like me to answer and alleviate the cry whenever, wherever, and however we are needed. I think it is important for me and for humanity to stand up for this call: to hear the cry of the poor.

Thoughts Post Immigration Immersion (more to come later)

For those of you who don't know, I was in Tucson over Fall Break doing an immersion trip to learn about immigration issues on the border. I will write more about the experience, but here are some brief thoughts that I have going through my mind right now.


I've been thinking a lot about suffering. I see a lot of injustices in this world and I have a vision of how to heal them. We, as a human family, seem to have lost sight of the intrinsic human worth of each individual in our search for personal gain and selfish desires. Yet, how can I affect all of these problems when there are so many? Do I just pick on and work on that? Do I try an affect change in all areas? 
A recognition of everyone as worth something would go far in this world. Yet, how is the best way to do this? I hope that by teaching (or youth ministering) I can help affect change. I can teach people and maybe a few will take what I  have said to them to heart and affect change in their own unique way. I just hope I can make some sort of difference in someone's life.


I think Natalie Grant says is beautifully in her song "Human"

We gotta do better than this cuz we only got 

One chance to make a difference 

We gotta do better than this cuz we only got 

One life that we've been given 

A little love, a little kindness 

A little light in this time of darkness 

It'll be what makes us different 

It'll be what makes us human 

I'm human, you're human, we are human 

Blessed Be the Name

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

I keep hearing this song everywhere, at Praise and Worship, on the radio, popping at random times in my head. This

song comes from the Book of Job.  Job tells the story of a man who lived in the land of Uz (Job). He was blessed by the Lord and had many things: children, camels, oxen etc. He was God-fearing and avoided evil. He was a good guy. One day, Satan came before the Lord. God said, "Have you seen Job? He is pretty awesome and no one is like him!" Satan says, "He is surrounded by blessings. If he was suffering, he would not be blessing your name." Then God allows Satan to control all of the things Job has been blessed with. In the end, everything is taken away from Job. After these things have happened, Job says "Naked I came forth from my mother's womb, and naked shall I go back again. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. blessed be the name of the Lord!" (Job 1:21). This class I am taking on suffering is really testing what I have believed my whole life, and I am struggling to come to terms with suffering and Divine providence. We haven't talked about natural suffering (earthquakes, tornadoes, etc.), but we have talked about suffering by human free choice. I am accept that humanity has fallen and we the choices we make can hurt others. But were we created like this? The professor of my class takes up the stance that suffering was even necessary to be elevated into the Beatific Vision. Through a really complicated process, we saw how he has come to this conclusion. But where I am struggling is, is suffering necessary? If humanity had never sinned, and we remained in our state of original grace, would we be elevated to the Beatific Vision? If we do have to suffer, how could our loving God create a world like this? I can bless the name of the Lord when life is going well, and I can even bless the name of the Lord when there is suffering because of our world, but can I bless his name when suffering is necessary for my salvation? I think a lot of my confusion is over this class, and my dealing with a very difficult topic to wrestle with. But, how can God willingly allow Satan to harm a child of his, a child who trusts him so completely?

Broken Records.

Sorry for the immense neglect of this blog the past couple of months. School hit me hard and unexpectedly. I don't know what it is about this semester: if it is the lack of a true summer vacation or this new internship that I haven't had to balance in in the past, or something else, but I have not been in school mode this first half of the semester. I also haven't been praying as much, and let me tell you, if you think that a few minutes in prayer a day don't make a difference, try going without them and you turn into me last Friday. I was drained. Literally running on empty. I couldn't process anything and at some points I could barely stand up. I was in a complete fog and schoolwork and work-work alike were neglected. I hope my essay I turned in last week was okay. I barely remember it. I NEED to find the time for prayer, time to devote totally to God. Right now I feel like a hypocrite: the life I led and the life I preached this summer is currently a lie. I am not living Totus Tuus. Why should all of those kids believe me when I don't even live the life. I miss daily Mass, but unfortunately it is hard to get my schedule to go with it. But a few minutes of prayer a day is a lot, and I need to do it! I can do it! And after 20+ hours of sleep this weekend, I think I am ready to fix my lack of prayer and make God more a part of my life. I feel like a broken record, saying this over and over, but sometimes I take two steps back and one forward, but the important thing is that eventually I do make it forward, even if it is just a tiny bit. A relationship with God is not a one time thing, but a life long journey. I am just trying to stay on the path.